Episode 3: Am I an Imposter?
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[00:00:00] Welcome to The Love What You Do podcast. I'm Kelly Dugan, former HR executive turned career coach and personal brand expert. And I am here sharing strategies to help you discover your unique value, leverage your personal brand, and take action to create a career you love.
All right, we are talking about a topic today that hits particularly close to home because I'm gonna be fully honest with you right now. I did not wanna turn on this podcast camera today [00:01:00] because of all of the things that I do coaching, working with clients, consulting, podcasting is still very new to me, and I truthfully.
I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing, so I can get really hard on myself when I turn on my camera and start to film these episodes. 'cause I want them to be perfect. I wanna be able to provide amazing content to help all of you love what you do. But the truth is, there's always this little voice in the back of my head that's saying, who the heck do you think you are?
You've never done this before. How are you going to be able to do this? Who's going to want to care to listen to this? And it takes everything that I have in me sometimes to shut that voice up. So that's what we're gonna talk about today. We're gonna talk about imposter syndrome because if you are listening to this right now, and what I [00:02:00] described feels completely unfamiliar to you, you've never felt in over your head in your work in any way, shape, or form.
First of all, congratulations. You're incredibly lucky. Um, but second of all, I don't know if I believe you because I am yet to work with any client at any level who has not experienced imposter syndrome or is not currently experiencing imposter syndrome. So, what is imposter syndrome? Exactly right. I think the best way to define imposter syndrome is it's the narrative that we tell ourselves, not necessarily that we're not capable of doing something, but that we haven't done that thing before and that someone else is going to find out and we're going to be completely discovered as some kind of a fraud. That's the definition of imposter [00:03:00] syndrome. It's self-doubt mixed with that fear of being found out.
And as I mentioned, it's something so many of us experience. You know, I think back on the first time that I ever entered into the corporate world and um, when I entered into corporate, I had spent most of my career before that in higher education administration, and I was working on college campuses, and I had gotten very accustomed to the culture and the mannerisms of education, but, for those of you who work in a corporate office, you already know there's a whole different type of culture that goes ar along with the corporate world. There are all sorts of mannerisms. There are all, there's a whole corporate lingo language that you have to learn the first time that you're working in an office.
And I felt pretty qualified to do the job that I was hired to do, um, in [00:04:00] my corporate office, but I had. No idea what people were saying about 30 to percent of the time, uh, I would go to meetings. People would be talking about OBITDA and EBITDA and all sorts of corporate acronyms and analogies, and I would be writing them down in a notebook before I would go back to my computer whenever I got a break between meetings, just to be able to google what the heck people were talking about in the room.
And that created in me this feeling of inadequacy because even though I knew I could do the work, I felt like everyone around me knew that I was still learning and that I really needed some help to be able to, to get up to speed, to know exactly what was going on. This really all came to a head for me.
When I took my first day of PTO from my corporate job, it [00:05:00] was I was gonna take a Friday off. I, for God knows what I can't even remember at this point. Um, but it was a Thursday afternoon, I was getting ready to leave the office and I thought I had done everything that one should do to prepare to be away for a day.
And I went into my manager's office and I said, alright, just a reminder, I'm not in tomorrow. I, I'm gonna to get ready to head out. And she looked at me and said, great. Who did you put on your out of office? And I stared at her blankly for a minute because what I wanted to respond was. What in the world is an out of office?
Why does someone have to go on it and what kind of person goes on and out of office? But instead, what I said to her was, oh yes, thank you for the reminder. I've been meaning to ask you about that. Who would you recommend I put on my out of office? So she looked at me like I was a little bit crazy, told me who she thought I should put on there, and then I quickly went back to [00:06:00] my computer to figure out.
What the heck an out of office was. And for those of you who don't know, I'm sure many of you do, but it's the automated message that you put on your email account so that people know that you're not in and who they should reach out to in your place. Uh, I spent that weekend feeling so down on myself because of that one stupid interaction, and I was like.
When am I ever going to feel like I've got this showing up to work every day, and when I went back to work on Monday, I'm sure. I did not feel over one weekend that all of a sudden a magic wand had been waved, and I knew everything that I needed to know. But I can tell you that day after day of some of those slightly embarrassing moments coming and going, I started to actually feel very confident in my role.
And I grew in that [00:07:00] role and continued to grow in that role. Uh, and I worked through those feelings of imposter syndrome being new to the corporate world. But there's a sneaky thing about imposter syndrome that honestly I don't think a lot of people are talking about because when I hear about the conversation with imposter syndrome, it always comes down to how do we overcome imposter syndrome?
That's the conversation we all want the key for, how can I not feel these feelings anymore and get past them? But I have a little bit of unfortunate news, uh, because. I really don't think that imposter syndrome is something that we ever truly overcome, and I think that by trying to overcome it, we're actually doing more damage than than good for ourselves because we are creating this ideal of [00:08:00] self-actualization that somehow we should be able to go into a new and challenging situation.
And feel complete confidence and, and no doubt and no fear, and be able to just complete these tasks with ease. And if that is the case, are you really doing the work that you should be doing? I mean, isn't the whole point of our career to be able to challenge ourselves and grow? I think it is anyway. And so when it comes to overcoming imposter syndrome. I wanna start to shift the conversation a little bit 'cause I don't think that imposter syndrome is something we should be seeking to overcome, but I think it is something we should be seeking to work through. So instead of beating ourselves up because we have these feelings of discomfort and fear, we should acknowledge those feelings of discomfort and [00:09:00] fear, and we should do it anyway just like today.
I was feeling discomfort and fear about filming this podcast, but I turned on the camera anyway, and here I am talking to you about this incredibly important topic. So if we allow ourselves to just accept the fact that if we are doing our career the right way, we are constantly going to be unlocking new challenges for ourselves and with those new challenges are gonna come, new levels of imposter syndrome, but that in and of itself does not mean that we are not qualified to be able to do the things that we are called to do, the things that we have challenged ourselves to wanna be able to do. So we need to get the idea out of our heads that just because we feel imposter syndrome, that there's something wrong with us. And we have to acknowledge the fact that the very feeling that we [00:10:00] have imposter syndrome means that we need to do it anyway and prove our brain wrong.
Because that is how we are going to be able to conquer that level of imposter syndrome that we're experiencing in the moment. So. I have one more imposter syndrome story that I wanna share. And I don't know if I've mentioned this on the podcast before, but I actually spent a majority of my career about 10 years, uh, with WWE the wrestling company.
Um, I. We'll continue to talk more and more about that, I'm sure in many episodes to come. It was a career opportunity of a lifetime to get to work there and um, I absolutely loved it. But as I started to grow within the organization and I was invited to my first executive meeting, um, I got to attend that meeting in the executive [00:11:00] boardroom. So if you know anything about WWE, you know there are some very large characters in the ring, both in their character that they portray, but also in their actual physical size. And some of those characters actually have come and worked as executives in the organization. So as you can imagine, that boardroom is basically built for giants.
And I know I'm only talking to you through either audio or a YouTube video here, but, um, I am all of about five foot two and would not. Really qualify, qualify myself into the giant category. But I remember getting invited to this meeting and of course I was excited to be able to present in the meeting.
Uh, but I was also petrified 'cause it was the first time I was going to be seen in front of these executives as a peer that is talking to [00:12:00] them versus someone who had been supporting them in previous roles. And I walked into that executive boardroom feeling a little small, and then I saw the boardroom chairs and I went from internally feeling small to looking around and realizing, oh no, it's not just in my head.
I, I look quite small in this room because it took me two hands and all of my bite to pull that chair out from the table to be able to sit down only for my feet, not to touch the ground as I scooted myself in as best I could in this giant chair. Uh, and it was in that moment where I have. I really experienced a physical presence that matched my internal feelings so incredibly well because I was feeling pretty small preparing to give that presentation.
I was filled with imposter syndrome and nerves. [00:13:00] Um, and then there I am this very tiny person in this very large, large chair. Uh, but. The truth is I had two options just as all of us do when we are in these situations where we are overcome with imposter syndrome, fear and doubt. I could either. Let those feelings win.
Rush through that presentation and present myself just as small as I was feeling, or I could push through and do it anyway and give my big presentation with my feet swinging, not hitting the floor. And that's exactly what I did. I, of course, after getting through that presentation, got back to my cube and stared at the wall for a good 15 minutes just to let all of the adrenaline drain out of me.
But. That wasn't my last executive presentation at WWE, and it absolutely was the one that instilled me with the most fear. But with each one that [00:14:00] I gave, I got more and more brave, and the imposter syndrome melted more and more away because I was giving my brain the evidence that I was capable of doing something.
So when I, we think about this topic of imposter syndrome, I wanna leave you with this. It's that having the feelings of imposter syndrome alone is there. It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's nothing to run from. It's nothing to overcome. It's exactly what you want to work through, because when you feel that you're maybe.
Out of your depth slightly in the projects that you're working on and in the work that you're doing, but you do it anyway. That does not make you an imposter. That is exactly what makes you impressive. So the next time you are faced with those feelings of fear and doubt and anxiety, [00:15:00] the next time that you're overcome with imposter syndrome, just remind yourself it's okay to feel this way.
But you're gonna do it anyway, and that is what is going to make you impressive. So that's our episode for today on imposter syndrome. I thank you so much for joining us on today's episode.
As always, if you're looking for coaching support or would like to submit a question, you can drop me an email at [email protected]. And if you enjoyed today's episode, don't forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review so this podcast can find its way to other amazing listeners just like you.
